Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
