Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
