Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize