Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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