I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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