is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize