what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
