The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
