If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
