How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
