It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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