Its about making memories worth repressing
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
