Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
