I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
only if we run a train.
done.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
