Porn is love you can see.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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