What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
even my farts smell like vagina
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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