Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
