Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
