Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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