O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
