I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
