ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
