I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
