I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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