So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
