My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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