He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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