if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
