In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
