We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
