I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
