I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
