How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
