Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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