What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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