I met the friendliest cop last night
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
