Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
