everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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