nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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