Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dicks are not precious.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
