tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
