Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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