did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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