why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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