Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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