question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
