ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
