Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
