Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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