Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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