thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize