one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
