yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
