Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
