lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
