I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
