Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You ate ashes out of my bong
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize