I wish I could punch you in the face.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
