Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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